Because of previous trauma, I had a detachment to sex. I had a misogynist view of a woman being touched sexually and that making her “destroyed”. I thought sex was taboo and a thing people did to be nasty. The people I had known who had lost it had really exciting, thrilling stories about it. I would always hear, “You know when you’re ready”. I remember overthinking it, like what if he doesn’t like me after this? What if it’s not good? Physically, it hurt at first, but it was like a welcoming pain, like (sighs), I can deal with this pain.

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